23% of women dress as cats or bunnies on Halloween. I just made that stat up it is realistic...no?Personally witnessed the best costume ever. Here we go:
About 1991 I was dancing away at my high-school dance. I admit I had a bit of a beer buzz flowing, but it was fading fast. This lad dressed all in green with hoses and weedy looking rags was just smashing the dance floor in a liquor fuelled whirlwind. He had on some goggles, so I didn't recognize him at first. This weird swampy alien dancing dude - whirls a couple of hoses that extended from his hand and says: "suck my finger bro". I was like: "no way". Plus a couple of FUs thrown in. He said, "it is me Sweaty...suck on it". Sweaty is French's younger brother, so I took a quick suck. It was the dirty, but lovely, burning Alberta Rye. Wow dude! As a young lad this was the best moment at a dance. He then said: "Suck my other finger on this hand". It was Cherry Brandy. Damn weird combo. The hoses were actually surgical tubes that he had taken from a recent visit to the hospital. The tubes snaked up his arm and into mickeys he had stashed under the layers of his spacey get up. Best/funniest/most practical costume of all time. Sweaty was a genius.
We danced and danced - every now and then - taking a pull of burning liquor or sweet brandy. Crazy, but wonderful night.
The hot buzz lasted right to the last chords of "Stairway to Heaven".
3 comments:
Sweaty. I knew guys like this. I knew a guy that got in a car accident and had a prosthetic arm. We used to fill it full of rum and mix it into our fountain drinks at the movies in the back row. His name was "Soup" Solomon. We would come out of a Police Academy movie all loud and tanked up.
All these legends need a life - these people are the gems...gems!
i HAD A FEW TOO MANY SWIGS AT WALLACES SATURDAY... DAMN TEQUILA.
Post a Comment