Wednesday, 20 June 2007

Greetings and Salutations




Billy Corgan Hears me on this One!
I've always had an issue with saying good-bye; and hello can be a bitch as well. I don't mean like "g'day lad" - or "how's she going?". I got that gig nailed bro. It's the formalized greeting or formalized parting of family member or colleague that makes me nervous.

You know the deal: your fat aunt is coming in for a kiss/hug/hand-shake - you don't want to accidentally slip her a sloppy one (Unless you're from Lanark). Here is my system:

Dude: shake hands - be firm.

A wicked dude: quick manly hug (does that sound gay?)

Chick - kiss/hug - go for the cheek.

French Chick - kiss both cheeks.

Hot French Chick - tongue...when in Rome...

Dutch Chick - three cheek kiss! Gotta love the Dutch!

Fat Aunt - Hug - avoid the mouth area - seriously - sorry Lanark.

Okay so my system is still in development. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Last point:

I work with this guy that has the best fucking salutation ever. He say on parting: "I'm going home to make love to my beautiful wife."

Holy Shit - what can you say to that?

Ollie Out.

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